Stop Comparing

by shara.anderson on January 24, 2012

Why do we feel the need to compare ourselves to others???

Cade is extremely competitive.  He will compete even when it doesn’t make sense to.   Ella is 16 months younger than him and in a different math book altogether, but Cade still needs to know that he is further than her in his math book.  Why is that?  I know one reason is because Cade is a typical first-born.  I also know that God has wired him in a way that he is very concerned about details.  He is my linear/math minded child.

I also know that some of competitiveness really comes down to insecurity.  We try to affirm each child’s importance in our family and appreciate their individuality.  I certainly don’t care where he is in his math compared to Ella.

Really, I’m often no different though.  Why do I feel such a need to compare myself and then be critical towards others?  I guess it comes out of a desire to know that I’m doing a good job at being a wife and mom.  Somehow it seems that if others aren’t doing it “right” than I must be.  Out of the gate with parenting there is heated controversy ~ natural birth/meds, breastfeed/bottle feed, vaccinations or no, demand feed/schedule, homeschool/public or private.  I think there is a place for these conversations, but I’ve often found that instead of us giving grace to one another and helping to educate each other we push our agenda for what we think is “right”.  Is God just as unimpressed when I tout how much better my way is, just as I am when Cade tells Ella, “I’m on lesson 25!”?

I think God is more concerned with our attitudes towards one another than any certain philosophy on parenting.

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”  Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

Matthew 22:36-38

I know that when I work to be accepted by others I am prone to a roller-coaster of emotions.  When I work to please my Lord then I only need to look to Him to empower me, and I can make decisions based on how He is leading me.  It’s a much more restful place:).

Blessings to your family,

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