We have been going through the Biblical story of Joseph using a great curriculum called Bible Study Guide For All Ages. The kids really enjoy it as they get to color as the story progresses and they are really retaining the material because of the pictures and review.

As we have been going through the story I have been thinking about how Jacob’s favoritism of certain sons (ie Joseph & Benjamin) really caused so much hurt between them, not to mention his multiple wives!!  (Kirk always says he couldn’t handle more than one wife, so I guess I don’t have to worry about that:)).  So, knowing that favoritism is wrong how do we go about loving our children equally?

I once met a mom who calculated to the penny how much she spent on Christmas gifts for each child and would give them money to compensate for any difference.  Now I don’t know about you, but I think I would be crazy putting all that effort into being “equal”.  I’m also not organized enough to do such things.

I did hear a quote awhile ago that has helped me think through how I do treat my children:

If you love your children equally, you will treat them uniquely.

I LOVE what that conveys!!  Cade and Ella are SO different.  Ella can try as hard as ever to be neat while she eats, and she will still have a complete disaster when she is done.  Cade, on the other hand, has been a neat eater from the very beginning.  He doesn’t like being messy, and he has even refused to finger paint and do paper mache because he might get dirty.  All of our pictures of Cade in the high chair are of him falling asleep.  All of the ones of Ella are of the mess she made!  I’m just waiting to see what Addie will do!!

At a New Year’s party the kids played limbo.  Ella jumped right in and couldn’t care less that she was doing it “incorrectly”.  Cade sat on the floor and watched because he wasn’t sure if he could do it “right”.

So, with Cade we encourage him to try many things, and he needs a lot of encouragement and affirmation that it’s okay if it isn’t done perfectly.  Ella, in contrast, needs encouragement at times to work to perfect things or take them more seriously.  We love them both, but wouldn’t it be a travesty to treat them the same???

Which, as a side note, you may want to give yourself a break (as a mom, wife, daughter etc) and realize that you aren’t meant to be the same as anyone else.  God loves us equally, but created us (and treats us) uniquely as well.

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