Revealing Problems

by shara.anderson on October 15, 2013

I love books.  I love to read.  If it’s out I’ll read it.  If you invite me to your house and don’t want me to read your grocery list then you might want to hide it…or not invite me over.

Recently, at a rummage sale, I purchased an old book.  Tucked in its pages I found this piece of paper:

Bill quote

Don’t you wonder about Bill?  Who was/is he?  Was he married?  How was his marriage?  Some things must have led him to this conclusion about marriage.  Was this a quote he came up with or was this something he merely heard and took the time to jot down?

Then I texted Bill’s quote to a friend.  She said something that is so true:  “I would include homeschooling to that too!”

Homeschooling doesn’t create problems it just reveals them.

Wow…I had to think about that for a bit.  I’ve come to the conclusion that that is really true.  Now there are certain problems that homeschooling might create like scheduling conflicts or a lack of a second income, but from a relational standpoint I think that quote is completely true!

So many times when other moms find out we homeschool they say, “Oh, I could never homeschool (insert name of their “difficult” child here)!  I would just be frustrated with them all the time!”

Usually I nod and smile, but can I just say I get it!!  I sometimes wish there was a video camera rolling during our homeschooling just so everyone could see that our days are not what I think most people think they are!  Then I realize that I really don’t want the video camera rolling because it would be embarrassing, but let me tell you that “homeschooling doesn’t create problems it just reveals them”.  The only difference is that as a homeschooling mom I am forced to work through those problems as it relates to “school”.  It’s not that we don’t have those problems.  I can’t tell you how many days I have to send someone to their room and then give them a “pep talk” about life and perseverance and respect and on and on. Tempers flare, at times, and our days are far from smooth.  My kids try to pull things at home that they wouldn’t in a classroom, and that is natural.  I do and say things with them, at times, that I wouldn’t as a public school teacher.  So, we ask for forgiveness and work through things.  Tomorrow we will probably have to work through those things again.

Am I not painting homeschooling in a great light?  I have to say that I think we do everyone a disservice when we make it seem like we homeschool BECAUSE we have it all figured out, and our relationship with our kids is just peachy all the time.  The fact of the matter is that that actually has NOTHING to do with our choice to homeschool.  In fact, I feel like we need the extra time to work on our relationships with each other.  I need the extra time to work on my patience with the kids (and fail miserably some days!!) and help them learn to interact with each other better.

Case in point:  Before I had a chance to photograph this quote my lovely 4 year old took her shot at adding to it.  I photo-shopped the picture so you wouldn’t know.  I hope I’m not “photo-shopping” our life in a way that makes you think we have it all together…we don’t!

bill quote 2

I would be leery of the family that homeschools and says that they have it figured out and that their relationships are so fine tuned in their family, and that is why they homeschool.  I haven’t met that family, and I really don’t want to.

So, as the sun rises tomorrow it will be another day for us to homeschool and deal through any problems that it may reveal.

Blessings to your family,

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