I Don’t Want To…

by shara.anderson on August 5, 2013

No, I don’t really want to play Candyland…again.

No, I don’t want to read One Fish, Two Fish, again.

I kind of just want to finish the book I’m currently reading (the one with no pictures), or the sweater I’m currently knitting or the phone conversation I’m currently trying to have.

No, I don’t want to go outside and run through the sprinkler.

I have no desire to have a bike race with you.

I have no inspiration to make supper (after all, you’ll only want breakfast in the morning).

I’m not wanting to correct or train…please stop fighting, it’s really inconveniencing my perusing of Facebook.

Your story is a little on the long side and quite boring.

You have messed up my perfectly clean floor with your milk.  All of my remotes have lost their backs and batteries.  My walls should be repainted every other month.

I don’t want to wipe your bottom or watch how high you can jump.

I have no idea where your other shoe is…haven’t I told you, “I don’t wear them!!!”

selfishness

UGGGHH…SELFISHNESS!!!

What kind of a mother (not to mention wife) would I be without it??

I long to cherish each minute and yet selfishness lurks in the corner.

I long to see each sin my children display as an opportunity to teach and guide.

I long to set aside what I desire for the benefit of my family, yet I find myself coming up with reasons to linger on what I want to do.

I long to discipline for the best of each child instead of the inconvenience they are currently bringing to my schedule or goals for self.

I want to serve happily, so why am I frustrated by the looming amount of dirty clothes?

I know each child is a gift, so why do I lament childishness?

What would I be if I truly died to self?  After all, in my heart that’s what I truly want.

God has been laying this on my heart through various means.  I need to quit using excuses of motherhood being difficult and me being tired and Kirk’s schedule being too grueling.  This great article was the most recent “gentle reminder” for me.  It’s time to get up and do what I don’t feel like doing.  It’s time to hourly die to self.  It’s time to start AGAIN to rely on the Holy Spirit for wisdom and energy.

Joy will come.

Peace will come.

Reaping will come.

 “The Perseverance of the saints has 10,000 new beginnings”.  ~Author Unknown

Blessings to you as you trust God’s promises and you move forward today,

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