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Why do we feel the need to compare ourselves to others???

Cade is extremely competitive.  He will compete even when it doesn’t make sense to.   Ella is 16 months younger than him and in a different math book altogether, but Cade still needs to know that he is further than her in his math book.  Why is that?  I know one reason is because Cade is a typical first-born.  I also know that God has wired him in a way that he is very concerned about details.  He is my linear/math minded child.

I also know that some of competitiveness really comes down to insecurity.  We try to affirm each child’s importance in our family and appreciate their individuality.  I certainly don’t care where he is in his math compared to Ella.

Really, I’m often no different though.  Why do I feel such a need to compare myself and then be critical towards others?  I guess it comes out of a desire to know that I’m doing a good job at being a wife and mom.  Somehow it seems that if others aren’t doing it “right” than I must be.  Out of the gate with parenting there is heated controversy ~ natural birth/meds, breastfeed/bottle feed, vaccinations or no, demand feed/schedule, homeschool/public or private.  I think there is a place for these conversations, but I’ve often found that instead of us giving grace to one another and helping to educate each other we push our agenda for what we think is “right”.  Is God just as unimpressed when I tout how much better my way is, just as I am when Cade tells Ella, “I’m on lesson 25!”?

I think God is more concerned with our attitudes towards one another than any certain philosophy on parenting.

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”  Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

Matthew 22:36-38

I know that when I work to be accepted by others I am prone to a roller-coaster of emotions.  When I work to please my Lord then I only need to look to Him to empower me, and I can make decisions based on how He is leading me.  It’s a much more restful place:).

Blessings to your family,

This is the second year that I’ve done this activity with my kids and the kids I nanny for.  They really enjoy it, and I think it helps them think about the Easter story a little more.

This activity represents Jesus being covered in oil and spices and being laid in the tomb.  After you bake the rolls Jesus disappears (melted in this case) and the tomb is empty.  This is a great way for little minds to begin thinking about how surprised Mary must have been Easter morning.

All you need is a tube of crescent rolls (the tomb), marshmallows (Jesus), cinnamon & sugar mix (spices) and melted butter (oil).  Lay out the crescent rolls.  Have the kids roll Jesus in the butter and then the cinnamon/sugar mix.  After that they wrap the crescent dough around the marshmallow.  You may want to help them seal all the edges otherwise the marshmallow seeps out.  Have fun hearing the kids say, “What happened to the marshmallow?  Where did Jesus go?”

We also talked about the marshmallow being white and how that represents the fact that Jesus is pure and free from sin.

Have fun making your crescent roll tombs!

Ok, I know it’s Saturday…but better late than never right?  I often read Kirk’s cousin, Beckie’s “5 Question Friday” posts and thought I would join in this time around.  So, feel free to join in, link up and do your own “5 Question Friday” if you’d like!

1. Have you ever testified in court? For what?

I’ve never testified, but I’ve had the great pleasure of having jury duty when we lived near Minneapolis.  There’s nothing better than being thrown in a huge room with complete strangers waiting to have your name called for 3 days.  It’s amazing how quickly you go from talking to no one to laughing and doing puzzles with someone.  I did get called on day 3 to potentially be on a jury.  We started the interview process for a drunk driving case only to have it dismissed the next day.

2. Do you still have your wedding dress?

Yep!  It’s in a box that has been professionally sealed…I hope when I do open it one day it really is my dress in there:).  It’s sitting in our basement.  Kirk always thinks I should have sold it…I don’t think a dress from 1998 would really bring much now.

3. Is there a special place you like to go when you’re happy, sad, stressed, etc.?

Hmmm…when it’s nice out I really enjoy walking/jogging outside by myself.  I’m kind of a baby when it comes to anything below 30 degrees though.  I do often take baths with a good book.

4. If you have kids, do they sleep with you? If you don’t have kids…will you let your kids sleep with you when/if you have them?

Our beautiful children have their own beds, and we have always let them use those:).  We have found that for us it is best NOT to have the kiddos in bed with us.  We have dear friends who see it otherwise and I say, “To each his own”.  We do let them come and hang out with us in bed in the morning, and that is fun (if it isn’t too early).  We also had a phase were Ella was pretty fearful at night so we did allow her to sleep on the floor next to us.

5. Do you watch late night TV?

We don’t have any kind of decent TV reception at home so we actually don’t watch any TV at all (Except for during the Olympics and that is with Kirk having to rig up various things to make it work).  We know we could get a basic service for fairly cheap, but we have found that it is helpful not to have another distraction around.  It’s also kind of funny to have to explain commercials and such to our children:).

So, happy Friday a little late:).

So, yesterday in the evening I thought I better make some more bread or we wouldn’t have enough in the morning.  I was at the point of letting the dough rise when Kirk came home around 8pm after working a long day.  We put the kids to bed and decided on a movie to watch.  I fell asleep during the movie (which is standard these days).  After the movie I suddenly realized that I didn’t do anything with the bread the entire time.  So, needless to say I was up until 1:30AM babysitting bread…but there is no lack of fresh bread today.

While I was at Northwestern College, in my first placement as an Elementary Education Major, I was unfortunate to have the first grade teacher I was working under be very critical of everything I did.  I would finish a lesson with these rather difficult 1st graders and have her criticize one thing I may have said wrong grammatically.  I remember she made a harsh comment about how I had downloaded clip art from the internet for the bulletin board I had made (I’m not sure if hand drawn would have pleased her or not.)  For every placement, we had a supervisor from Northwestern come and observe a certain number of lessons that we taught.  My supervisor was always very positive and thought I was doing well in my 1st placement.  Somehow, the positive comments from my supervisor didn’t stick with me as much as the comments from the 1st grade cooperating teacher.  I don’t even remember the 1st grade teacher’s name anymore, but I still remember many of her comments.

After many placements and a couple of years I was finally student teaching full-time and nearing graduation.  I was now in a second grade classroom with the most amazing cooperating teacher!!  I had actually had a short placement with her 2 years earlier, and she had requested to have me student teach with her when the time came.  It was this teacher who saw potential in me that I didn’t see.  She was encouraging and positive.  She gave criticism, but I knew it was from a heart that cared and someone who was looking out for my best.  I was able to step out and try things that without her inspiration I wouldn’t have.  I incorporated many of the things that I learned from her when I was teaching in my own classroom.

It wasn’t long ago that I saw this blog post about focusing on the virtue instead of the vice with your children.  This really resonated with me and even made me think about my time student teaching all over again.  It’s so easy to focus on Ella’s whining, tattling, bossyness or Cade’s quick anger, frustration, or complaining.  I have found myself saying, “Ella, don’t fuss…Ella, stop fussing, Ella, try again.”  It has seemed that things stick with the kids better when instead I have said, “Ella, tell me 3 things you are grateful for”, or “Cade, hold Ella’s hands and tell her something you appreciate about her”.  There is something about practicing the virtue instead of continually being told not to act out the vice that really helps.  Then when they are beginning to remember those virtues and use them and you get to compliment what you see in them it really seems to snowball in a positive direction (usually:)).

There is no magic pill, and I still find that many days I forget to focus on the virtue.  It’s always a good reminder and something to strive for though.

I feel as if I am now coming out of my cave of the first trimester.  I am actually 18 weeks along today, and I’ve been feeling pretty good for a few weeks.  I just looked at how long it has been since I last blogged, and it pretty much correlates with being sick and pregnant.  It is actually an exciting time of feeling better along with the anticipation of spring.  We have an ultrasound on the 22nd of March, and we are excited to hopefully find out the gender of this newest little one.

When I am sick Kirk is very gracious, but I start to feel really guilty for having to rely on him to do things like grocery shopping and putting kids to bed when he is already running his own business.  I start to feel lazy, and I can sense that my inconsistency with the kids is really throwing things out of whack.  I think that’s why it is so nice to be feeling better.  I start to feel down because I’m not accomplishing much.  Today, it was fun to work on painting a wall in the girls’ room and think about what color we want to paint in the living room instead of lying on the couch thinking of all the things that need to be done.

So, today I overslept and ran out the door, to the gym, behind schedule. I was actually on par to make it just in the “nick of time”. Of course, it was the day that 2 deer jumped out in front of me making me more tentative, and then I had to stop for a red light which rarely happens at 5:30AM. I was slightly irritated as I saw in the distance police lights. As I got closer, I noticed that my exit was actually blocked off with cones…grrr…road construction. Then I saw not one, but several police cars, and as I passed my exit there was a minivan that had rolled and none of the windows that I could see were left. It was bad, and suddenly I felt quite guilty for being irritated that MY exit was closed and that the world wasn’t revolving around me.

The world seems uneasy with all that is going on in the Middle East, and locally the Polaris Plant which is a source of many jobs in our smaller community, is closing, leaving many friends and neighbors without jobs. My dad is once again having radiation for recurring Multiple Myeloma cancer, and on and on.

It is at times like these that I am reminded that this is not my home, and for that I am thankful. It is so easy to get caught up in the day to day and be striving to get to the next “thing”. So many times I forget to focus on the eternal instead of on the temporal. My complaining reflects where my focus is. God has it all in control, and His timing is PERFECT. Who am I to complain? I am merely His creation…He is THE Creator.

So today, I will remember to rest in Him. He knows what I need. He is the same yesterday, today and forever.

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need.” Matthew 6:33