After my wonderful time doing the podcast on “Respecting Your Husband” with Becky I just kept thinking about all the things that we didn’t cover, and things that may be taken the wrong way.  However, I also know that the Holy Spirit will speak to His children as they are surrendered to Him and ask for Him to guide.

I also got the chance to listen to this podcast called, “The Respectful Wife”, by Mark Driscoll which is in his “Real Marriage” sermon series.  It’s really good if you are looking for more guidance in this area.

God bless your marriage as you seek Him wholeheartedly,

What is respecting your husband?  Why do it and how?  What about if you just don’t agree with him?  These are the questions that I was able to ask Becky in our second podcast together.  Respecting your husband is not something easy to do, but it is foundational to bringing a sense of peace to our homes and ultimately we honor God when we respect our husbands as the authority He has placed in our lives.

If you missed hearing our first podcast where Becky shares how God called her and her husband to having 14 children you can listen to that here.

Becky has been married to Mark for 31 years. She has home-schooled all of her 14 children, and she has gained her wisdom through surrendering to God’s call in her life. I have enjoyed gaining from Becky’s wisdom over the past decade. Feel free to grab a cup of coffee and listen in as I talk with Becky about how she has learned and is continuing to learn how to respect her husband.

“Respecting Your Husband” ~Interview with Becky

There was a little bit of difficulty with our Skype connection so there are some spots where it is a little difficult to hear.  If you turn up your volume while your listening that will help some.

Check out other episodes of “Walking with the Wise” at Family Legacy Media.

“Walk with the wise and you will become wise…” ~Proverbs 13:20

If you have something more that you would like to know about Becky or her family please let me know by leaving a comment.

Blessings to your family,

Aren’t people’s stories fascinating?  I have always been intrigued by others’ lives.  I find that I learn so much through others.

Last week I was able to sit down (via Skype) with Becky who is someone that I have learned SO much from.  She shared her story of how her and her husband, Mark, came to have 14 children.  It just so happens that we were able to record our conversation so we could share it with you:).

Becky has been married to Mark for 31 years.  She has home-schooled all of her 14 children, and she has gained her wisdom through surrendering to God’s call in her life.  I have enjoyed gaining from Becky’s wisdom over the past decade.  Feel free to grab a cup of coffee and listen in as I talk with Becky and she tells how they went from having 5 to 14 children.

“From 5 to 14″ ~Interview with Becky

Check out other episodes of “Walking with the Wise” at Family Legacy Media.

“Walk with the wise and you will become wise…” ~Proverbs 13:20

If you have something more that you would like to know about Becky or her family please let me know by leaving a comment.

Blessings to your family,

I can honestly say that Kirk is my best friend!  We certainly have our differences of opinion sometimes, but there is no one I would rather spend my time with.

Here’s just a few things that I appreciate about Kirk:

1. He’s funny…maybe I’ve just been around him too long, but he still makes me laugh:).
2. He’s around…a lot.  It’s not easy owning your own business AND making sure that you are available to your wife and kids.  Kirk is great at this balancing act.
3. He works hard (and he’s good at what he does!).
4. He is homeschooling right with me.  I take care of the curriculum stuff, but Kirk is constantly teaching the kids.  It is not infrequent that I find a piece of paper left behind with a drawing showing how electricity works or how to calculate how big the Ark was.
5. He fixes all of my computer issues (thanks Hun!).
6. He cleans up puke (which is really saying a lot if you know anything about Kirk’s squeamishness about getting sick).

7.  …and he fixes the sewer (for 4+ hours yesterday to be exact…gross!).

I love you, Babe!  (13 1/2 years and counting:)).

Blessings,

I was reading an article the other day on the FamilyLife website on  “Avoiding Mama Burnout“.  This quote, written by Susan Yates, has really resonated with me:

“God has given us these exact children in this exact birth order with these exact personalities, not merely so that we can raise them, but in order for them to be His tools in our lives to grow us up into the women He has created us to be. He gave us that strong-willed toddler, that child we just don’t ‘get,’ that one with disabilities. Every child is a gift from God and He will use each one in our lives for good if we let Him. It’s helpful to ask, God, what are you teaching me through this special child of mine? God is full of mercy and full of grace. And He is always faithful.”

I think the tricky part is the remembering to humbly ask God what He is teaching us instead of just trying to “fix” our child.  It was actually at a FamilyLife marriage weekend retreat, that Kirk and I went to before we had kids, that this same principle was really impressed upon me about our spouse as well.  God has placed our family members in our lives to help us to grow and move us along in the sanctification process.  We can either fight that or embrace it.  I like to think of my children as “Little Sanctifiers”.

If you’ve been following with the “Gentleness Challenge” over at Women Living Well you will appreciate this last one about how “Perfect women aren’t real, and real women aren’t perfect”.  Our husbands and children aren’t perfect either, but God can and will use that in our lives to grow us, if we cooperate.

Blessings to your family,

New Years is a time for setting new goals.  We really all already have goals…we just don’t necessarily look at them as goals all the time.

More gentleness is one of my goals for this year.  One day it seems like I have all kinds of patience for my kids.  They can be putzy (which kids really are), and needing help for every last thing and I’m not one bit irritated.  Then the very next day (or hour) they are doing the very same thing and I am annoyed, bothered and angry with them.  I was thinking about why that is.

I think it comes down to the fact that I am perceiving the kids as blocking my current “goal” at that moment.

I am often frustrated with the kids as I am heading out the door and trying to beat the clock.  The goal: be on time (or at least don’t miss the whole event LOL).  They are blocking that goal.  The lost shoe becomes a huge frustration, and I act toward my kids in a disrespectful and very “ungentle” way.

When I am trying to finish up an email and the kids are arguing I am often less than gracious in how I handle it.  The goal: finish the email.

When my children are disruptive and disorderly in public I get frustrated.  The goal: look like a good mom with good kids.

I’m trying to sit and rest while some children are sleeping and others are outside.  Inevitably, someone wakes early or a glove has fallen off a little hand for the 12th time.  The goal: relaxation.

So, what if THE goal changes in all of these situations to: lean on God to be the best mom I can be?  Can the kids block that goal??

We are running late and my goal is to be the best mom I can be?  Can I do that while we are running late?  Maybe that means re-evaluating and getting up earlier the next time.  Or maybe that means that I take the time to deal with whatever the kids need at that moment and we are late.  See, I can be gentle if the goal is to be a good mom because being a good mom may mean being late in a certain situation.

My goal of finishing the email changes to be the mom God has created me to be, and maybe I won’t miss that teachable moment.  Or maybe it’s time to train my kids in a quiet time for their good as well as my ability to accomplish things.  The kids aren’t in the way…the email is in the way.

What about those disorderly children in public?  If I discipline out of the motivation to look good, then that isn’t for my children’s best interest.  If I do it to help them learn obedience or self-control because that is what God calls me as a mom to do then I am focused on them and not on me.

The change happens when I’m not reliant on what my kids do any more.  I’m only responsible for how I respond to them.

This is something that I need a constant reminder on!  So, when I saw the “Gentleness Challenge“ over at “Women Living Well” I thought it would be a great chance to be reminded throughout the month of January.  You can read Courtney’s “Gentleness Challenge” by clicking the button below. 

As I was finishing my blog post from yesterday, Kirk sent me this video.  It seemed perfectly timed and a great reminder…for everyone, but especially homeschoolers.

We got a chance to see Todd speak at the Minnesota homeschool conference (MACHE) in April.  He had great reminders about not believing the lies that most homeschool moms do.

Just ask Kirk.  Yesterday was NOT my finest day!  I was stressed out and showing it.  I was sure that our children were messed up for life.  The house seemed in total chaos.  The thought of trying to parent yet another child seemed altogether impossible.  The weather was rainy and cold. AAHHHH!! Somehow, everyone else seemed to have it all together, and I just couldn’t figure it out.

Kirk graciously went to work to meet several obligations and then cut out early for our family to have some time together.

I could blame it on hormones, or just an off day.  I could say it is my children or Kirk not meeting my needs.  Maybe it’s the weather or the size of the house.  Possibly it’s that I haven’t had enough time to myself or that I just need to read that one great book I haven’t found yet.  Maybe it’s laziness, busyness or something in my diet.

I set my alarm this morning for 6:30AM.  I knew exactly what was going on.  I have once again been trying to do this thing called life on my own. Some of those things in the above paragraph may be legitimate concerns, but if I haven’t given things over to God to live in His power alone it is all for naught.  The truth is that pregnancy does mess with hormones.  Kirk and the kids will fail me.  The weather will be “bad”.  My discontentment will lead me to think I need more.  I am constantly trying to figure out the “right” formula.  Whether it is the best homeschooling schedule, menu plan or organizational strategy it is all just trying to control things on my own unless I have given things over to God first.

My prayer before I started today went something like this, “God, give me the energy to keep up with my kids and husband, the creativity to engage and encourage them, the discipline to be consistent, the wisdom and insight to see what is needed when, and the mind to remember that I need to remain in You alone.  I am not called to be anyone else so I don’t need to compare myself to others.  I don’t need the approval of men so I don’t need to worry about what things my appear to be.  Ultimately, I can’t…You already did.”  God may lead me (or you) to that organizational strategy or that great book, but if I am looking for that “thing” to solve what only Christ can do then I am only trying to do it on my own and that is pride (and idolization).

There is something extremely freeing about the fact that I just get to give it to God.  So, when Addie is still stamping her feet in frustration (not that my sweet little red head would ever do such a thing) I can go to God and ask for what I need and get my identity from Him and not my children or their behavior or anyone or anything else.

“…even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.”  Psalm 139:10

Feel free to join in, link up and do your own “5 Question Friday” if you’d like!

1. Have you ever had surgery?

Not until after Cade was born.  6 weeks after he was born I was at a Vikings vs Packers party at my sister’s house when I had severe stomach pain. We drove our mile home, and I decided we needed to head to ER.  Cade was born October 11th, and I was having my gallbladder taken out the day after Thanksgiving.  It was pretty uneventful.  The worst part was the nurse who couldn’t figure out how to get my IV in.

2. Ever ride in an ambulance?

Nope, but Kirk has had at least 2 experiences in an ambulance.  One was with Cade when he was small, and he had croup so bad we were pretty scared.  We had just gotten him settled down watching a VeggieTale when several large men appeared trying to force Cade to wear an oxygen mask.  This freaked him out and caused him to go into a coughing/not breathing fit all over again.  We waited for the ambulance for FOREVER.  We learned that in a similar situation we would save ourselves the $600 and take Cade ourselves.

3. How are you in a medical emergency? Panicked? Calm?

I haven’t really been in that many emergency situations.  When I was a camp counselor and we were playing some type of “Capture the Flag” game I came upon a camper with her shin bone sticking out of her skin.  Someone stayed with her while I ran to the camp office.  Again, Kirk has had much more experience in a variety of emergency situations which I will let him tell on his blog someday.  He is quite good in an emergency situation though.  He is calm and decisive and jumps into action.

4. Do you have a garden? Flowers or veggies?

Both.  With 20 acres it’s easy to think you can garden way more than what you can realistically weed though.  By the end of last year I was so sick of the weeds (we had so much rain it was crazy) that I told Kirk, “This is going to all be grass next year!”  Many months later I have resolved that I am ready to tackle it again on a smaller level this year.  We love the fresh beans, lettuce, squash and tomatoes etc.

I am a fan of perennial flowers in the thought that you plant once and they keep coming back, but it doesn’t always work that way especially in this climate:).

5. When did you move out of your parents house?

I moved out when I went to Northwestern College (as a sophomore) and lived in the dorms.  I moved home for a couple months and was married August 1st.  I then moved into the church parsonage with Kirk in Edina, MN.  I was almost 20, but that is a whole other post:).

Ok, I know it’s Saturday…but better late than never right?  I often read Kirk’s cousin, Beckie’s “5 Question Friday” posts and thought I would join in this time around.  So, feel free to join in, link up and do your own “5 Question Friday” if you’d like!

1. Have you ever testified in court? For what?

I’ve never testified, but I’ve had the great pleasure of having jury duty when we lived near Minneapolis.  There’s nothing better than being thrown in a huge room with complete strangers waiting to have your name called for 3 days.  It’s amazing how quickly you go from talking to no one to laughing and doing puzzles with someone.  I did get called on day 3 to potentially be on a jury.  We started the interview process for a drunk driving case only to have it dismissed the next day.

2. Do you still have your wedding dress?

Yep!  It’s in a box that has been professionally sealed…I hope when I do open it one day it really is my dress in there:).  It’s sitting in our basement.  Kirk always thinks I should have sold it…I don’t think a dress from 1998 would really bring much now.

3. Is there a special place you like to go when you’re happy, sad, stressed, etc.?

Hmmm…when it’s nice out I really enjoy walking/jogging outside by myself.  I’m kind of a baby when it comes to anything below 30 degrees though.  I do often take baths with a good book.

4. If you have kids, do they sleep with you? If you don’t have kids…will you let your kids sleep with you when/if you have them?

Our beautiful children have their own beds, and we have always let them use those:).  We have found that for us it is best NOT to have the kiddos in bed with us.  We have dear friends who see it otherwise and I say, “To each his own”.  We do let them come and hang out with us in bed in the morning, and that is fun (if it isn’t too early).  We also had a phase were Ella was pretty fearful at night so we did allow her to sleep on the floor next to us.

5. Do you watch late night TV?

We don’t have any kind of decent TV reception at home so we actually don’t watch any TV at all (Except for during the Olympics and that is with Kirk having to rig up various things to make it work).  We know we could get a basic service for fairly cheap, but we have found that it is helpful not to have another distraction around.  It’s also kind of funny to have to explain commercials and such to our children:).

So, happy Friday a little late:).