Archive for the ‘Books’ Category

What if the purpose of marriage wasn’t to make you happy?  I know the notion isn’t very romantic and makes every prospective Cinderella cringe.  What about finding your Prince Charming, meeting your soul-mate and being “completed”?

I was recently reading a book called, Blessing Your Husband, by Debra Evans.  She brings up the question about what marriage is for and why God created it.  Happiness may be a by-product of marriage, but it isn’t the purpose.  Could that be why so many marriages are failing today?  I know that there have been many days that I have been frustrated with Kirk for not meeting my needs.  Somewhere I have many times bought into the lie that he is here to make me happy, and when he doesn’t meet up to that expectation I am frustrated, irritated and usually crabby.  But, what if when Kirk doesn’t meet what I think I need (real or perceived) I took it as an opportunity to serve, or learn humility, or practice patience, or go to God with my need.  Isn’t true love sacrificial?  What if, instead of pouting I prayed about how God wants me to respond?

It was at a A Weekend to Remember marriage conference that Kirk and I went to several years back that we learned that the spouse you have is God’s “perfect provision” for you.  That does NOT mean your spouse is perfect!!  It means that God will use your spouse to refine you and make you more like Him if you allow Him to.  WOW!  That was pretty revolutionary for me.  All the things that are maybe weaknesses (or my perception of weaknesses) in Kirk can be the very things that God will use to change me.  The only problem is that there are many times that I work to change Kirk instead of seeking God to change me.

Now, don’t get me wrong…I really enjoy my marriage, and Kirk is a wonderful husband.  The fact remains that no matter how “wonderful” your spouse is they will never be perfect and they cannot meet all your needs.  What I do know is that my marriage is very different when I change my perspective from being made happy to being changed!

I love to read. Fiction, non-fiction, biographies, curriculum, magazine articles, recipes, blogs…I love it all.

It was sometime while I was pregnant that a gracious friend loaned me many books during the days of morning sickness. There was a stack of Randy Alcorn fiction among the stack. I had read Alcorn’s Heaven book, but none of his fiction. I really like the fiction I do read to be stretching, and I tend to stay away from mindless romance novels (sorry for those of you who love that kind of thing).

I read Safely Home, and I have not been the same since. The book takes you into the Persecuted Church in China. It draws you into a real world that most Americans know nothing about. It makes you long for Heaven while making your heart break for brothers and sisters you have never met.

It was while reading that book that my desire to do something huge for Christ was ignited in a way it hadn’t in a long time. I wanted to travel far and wide, talk to anyone who would listen, write books and speak to the masses. Kirk’s passion to travel isn’t real high, I’m not the most eloquent, and I thought writing 8 page papers in college was quite lengthy so it seemed that all that was within me was hitting dead ends.

I prayed during that time that God would reveal to me the great things He had for me to do for Him. I wanted to see God do amazing things as I put my faith in Him. I would come up with great ideas only for them to lose steam quickly. The ideas were from me.

Through some different people, circumstances and Bible studies God has showed me that I am to be the wife and mom He has created me to be. That’s it. No long plane rides or big groups of people. Nothing fancy or unique. The question is, do I have enough faith for God to take care of my needs even when my husband doesn’t? Can I trust God to give me the strength to help train my children when I have no energy left? Do I trust God in a way that allows me to respect my husband even when he doesn’t deserve it?

This is what God has called me to. To those God has called He will equip. If I trust Him daily (many times hourly) He will work through me to be faithful. Am I perfect…ha!!! Just ask Kirk and the kids! I’m not perfect, but I can start again and trust God to transform me to be the best wife and mom I can be.

Really it is blooming where you are planted. Where have you been planted? Are you surviving or blooming? God will equip you to what He

has called you to. If you are a wife…you are called to be a wife to the husband you have. If you are a mom…you are called to be a mom to the children you have. Read Safely Home and know that God has called you.