Archive for January, 2010

What if the purpose of marriage wasn’t to make you happy?  I know the notion isn’t very romantic and makes every prospective Cinderella cringe.  What about finding your Prince Charming, meeting your soul-mate and being “completed”?

I was recently reading a book called, Blessing Your Husband, by Debra Evans.  She brings up the question about what marriage is for and why God created it.  Happiness may be a by-product of marriage, but it isn’t the purpose.  Could that be why so many marriages are failing today?  I know that there have been many days that I have been frustrated with Kirk for not meeting my needs.  Somewhere I have many times bought into the lie that he is here to make me happy, and when he doesn’t meet up to that expectation I am frustrated, irritated and usually crabby.  But, what if when Kirk doesn’t meet what I think I need (real or perceived) I took it as an opportunity to serve, or learn humility, or practice patience, or go to God with my need.  Isn’t true love sacrificial?  What if, instead of pouting I prayed about how God wants me to respond?

It was at a A Weekend to Remember marriage conference that Kirk and I went to several years back that we learned that the spouse you have is God’s “perfect provision” for you.  That does NOT mean your spouse is perfect!!  It means that God will use your spouse to refine you and make you more like Him if you allow Him to.  WOW!  That was pretty revolutionary for me.  All the things that are maybe weaknesses (or my perception of weaknesses) in Kirk can be the very things that God will use to change me.  The only problem is that there are many times that I work to change Kirk instead of seeking God to change me.

Now, don’t get me wrong…I really enjoy my marriage, and Kirk is a wonderful husband.  The fact remains that no matter how “wonderful” your spouse is they will never be perfect and they cannot meet all your needs.  What I do know is that my marriage is very different when I change my perspective from being made happy to being changed!

Addie just passed her 5 month mark, and I was just noticing how long her hair is getting.  You’ll also notice that lovely baby bald spot.

Cade was as bald as a cue ball for a long time after birth and went through a phase of being deathly afraid of haircuts once he did have hair.  Ella had a moderate amount of hair and currently is waiting for her hair to get long enough for braids.  Thus far Addie is known for her red hair:).

We did have a hair cutting episode last summer that you can see all about below.

While Ella was getting her hair cut professionally after this incident, the lady said that she had seen moms cry because their girl’s hair had been cut.  Call me crazy but all I could think was, “It’s only hair!”

Please consider donating to Samaritan’s Purse!   They are bringing supplies in the name of Jesus Christ to a desperate people who need your prayers and your support.  Samaritan’s Purse has a long relationship with the people of Haiti and are trusted by the government and the people.

Samaritan’s Purse :: Donations for Haiti Relief

Haiti Relief from Samaritan's Purse

The first Samaritan’s Purse cargo plane arrived in Haiti Wednesday with emergency relief supplies for victims of the massive earthquake that rocked the country on Tuesday. The initial shipment included shelter material, hygiene kits, and water purification kits, as well as members of our disaster response team.

Our team is comprised of veterans of many disaster responses, but even they were shocked by what they encountered when they arrived.

“The streets are full of people that have no home to go back to,” said Dr. David Gettle, medical advisor. “They’re running out of food, fuel, and water. The situation is desperate and tense, and there is tremendous suffering.”

Three more flights with personnel and critically needed relief supplies landed Friday. Staff arriving included our team leader, two water engineers, and eight medical personnel to join Dr. Gettle.

Samaritan’s Purse deployed a disaster response team just hours after one of the strongest earthquakes to hit the Caribbean in decades to help with water, shelter, medical care, and other emergency needs.

“The damage is staggering in a nation where three out of four people live on less than $2 a day,” Samaritan’s Purse President Franklin Graham said. “The people of Haiti need our help like never before.”

We are partnering with HCJB Global, a medical ministry out of Ecuador that will be sending six doctors to join our medical advisor. The Billy Graham Evangelistic Association is deploying chaplains from its Rapid Response Team to help our team meet spiritual needs.

Samaritan’s Purse :: Donations for Haiti Relief

Staff with Baptist Haiti Mission, our local partner, report severe damage throughout the area. Power is out, and there is no water.

“It’s overwhelming,” said Kyrk Baker, director of operations for Baptist Haiti Mission. “We have a 100-bed hospital, and right now patients are lining the floor. There are big box vans coming in with people to see a doctor. It’s just unbelievable the amount of people that are lined up trying to get basic medical care.”

Baptist Haiti Mission is located in the mountains outside the capital of Haiti, Port-au-Prince, about 20 miles from the epicenter. The hospital and other buildings are operating on generators.

The massive 7.0 magnitude earthquake was the strongest to hit the country in 200 years and was felt as far away as Cuba. The tremor sparked widespread panic as it brought down buildings including the presidential palace, hotels, a hospital, and the UN headquarters in Port-au-Prince.

The city “is flattened,” said Haiti’s consul general to the U.N., Felix Augustin. The death toll could be between 45,000 and 50,000, with a further three million people hurt or homeless, a senior Haitian Red Cross official said on Thursday.

The earthquake was centered about 10 miles west of Port-au-Prince, the U.S. Geological Survey said. The quake was felt in the Dominican Republic, which shares a border with Haiti on the island of Hispaniola. Some panicked residents in the capital of Santo Domingo fled from their shaking homes.

Samaritan’s Purse responded in Haiti with emergency food and shelter material in September 2008, when four major storms including Hurricane Ike slammed the Caribbean nation.

“Being able to help people in a time of need demonstrates Christ’s love,” Baker said.

Samaritan’s Purse :: Donations for Haiti Relief

WAYS YOU CAN HELP

PRAY:

That people would get the help they need as quickly as possible.

For our team as they show the compassion of Christ to survivors.

That the flights carrying our relief supplies soon will be able to arrive in Haiti.

GIVE:

Please visit our donation page to help us meet the needs of earthquake victims in Haiti.

http://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/articles/responding_to_haiti_earthquake/

Today I was renewed in my appreciation for God’s perfection.

While I was nannying yesterday, I went downstairs and found open packaging from a toy camera.  After asking the boys if they knew anything about it I was able to conclude that the culprit of opening the package was Ella.  I quickly went upstairs to find the hooligan and promptly brought her downstairs.

Now, pause for a second and understand that we have recently had several incidents of Ella not telling us the truth.  At this point, we can pretty much bank on what Cade says, but with Ella it is iffy.  (ie eating a Triscuit and having the remains in her mouth while straight faced saying that she did not take a cracker and eat it.)

So, back to bringing the hooligan downstairs.  I was expecting denial from her, but I was pleasantly surprised when she admitted to opening the package immediately.  Then I asked her where she got the package.  She pointed to the nearest shelf.  Now, I happen to know that Melissa (the mom of the kids I nanny) has a dresser with toys in their packages in another room.  I asked Ella again and she stuck to her story.  After several rounds of this and various discipline techniques I finally left Ella in a back room by herself to think things through and hopefully tell me the truth when I came back.  I was praying for her little heart to be convicted as she bawled in the other room.  I came back numerous times and she would tell me she forgot where she got the toy camera from.

After way too much drama I finally told Ella that I knew she got it from the dresser.  She agreed, and we hugged.  Once again we discussed the importance of honesty, and I told Ella that she would need to inform Melissa when she got home what she had done.  Then we went along with the rest of our day.

Fast forward to the time that Melissa gets home.  Ella was off playing so I told Melissa that I was going to have Ella confess to her.  Then Melissa proceeds to tell me that the toy camera was in fact on the shelf that Ella had ORIGINALLY told me and NOT in the dresser…

WONDERFUL!! Now, I had disciplined my daughter for lying, when she had not, and she even confessed to something that she, in fact, did NOT do!  I immediately felt AWFUL!!

I later pulled Ella aside, and asked her where she really got the camera toy.  The hooligan poor child was probably so confused at that point.  When reassured that she could really tell me, she again told me about the shelf that she actually found it on.  I apologized and told her that I had made a mistake (I had been so sure!).  She was so gracious and forgiving (I have found that kids at this age usually are).

As we were leaving to go home, Ella by her own initiative, whispered to Melissa that she had taken the camera and opened it.  Evidently, it had been a left over Christmas gift that just had yet to be opened.  I was very wrong in my assumptions yesterday.  I was very blessed though by Ella’s forthright confession on her own.

When all was said and done I was still feeling badly about the whole incident and told Kirk that I have learned that I will not discipline for lying unless I have evidence.  I also was extremely thankful that God is always PERFECT and ALL-KNOWING. We are never held accountable for something we didn’t do, and He always knows exactly what we need in discipline and provision.

Inevitably after a baby is born everyone asks, “Who does she/he look like?”  Call me a bad mom, but I usually don’t see anyone in particular in a newborn.  They just look like newborns…

Anyway, here is all three of the kiddos at the exer-saucer stage…I’ll leave it up to you to decide!

Go ahead and leave a comment and let us know who you think the kids look like most.

We have been going through the Biblical story of Joseph using a great curriculum called Bible Study Guide For All Ages. The kids really enjoy it as they get to color as the story progresses and they are really retaining the material because of the pictures and review.

As we have been going through the story I have been thinking about how Jacob’s favoritism of certain sons (ie Joseph & Benjamin) really caused so much hurt between them, not to mention his multiple wives!!  (Kirk always says he couldn’t handle more than one wife, so I guess I don’t have to worry about that:)).  So, knowing that favoritism is wrong how do we go about loving our children equally?

I once met a mom who calculated to the penny how much she spent on Christmas gifts for each child and would give them money to compensate for any difference.  Now I don’t know about you, but I think I would be crazy putting all that effort into being “equal”.  I’m also not organized enough to do such things.

I did hear a quote awhile ago that has helped me think through how I do treat my children:

If you love your children equally, you will treat them uniquely.

I LOVE what that conveys!!  Cade and Ella are SO different.  Ella can try as hard as ever to be neat while she eats, and she will still have a complete disaster when she is done.  Cade, on the other hand, has been a neat eater from the very beginning.  He doesn’t like being messy, and he has even refused to finger paint and do paper mache because he might get dirty.  All of our pictures of Cade in the high chair are of him falling asleep.  All of the ones of Ella are of the mess she made!  I’m just waiting to see what Addie will do!!

At a New Year’s party the kids played limbo.  Ella jumped right in and couldn’t care less that she was doing it “incorrectly”.  Cade sat on the floor and watched because he wasn’t sure if he could do it “right”.

So, with Cade we encourage him to try many things, and he needs a lot of encouragement and affirmation that it’s okay if it isn’t done perfectly.  Ella, in contrast, needs encouragement at times to work to perfect things or take them more seriously.  We love them both, but wouldn’t it be a travesty to treat them the same???

Which, as a side note, you may want to give yourself a break (as a mom, wife, daughter etc) and realize that you aren’t meant to be the same as anyone else.  God loves us equally, but created us (and treats us) uniquely as well.

The other day I purchased Babycubes with my order of diapers on www.diapers.com.  (I have recently fallen in love with ordering diapers online as it is cheaper AND I don’t have to lug a big box home from the store…just fyi some diapers are actually cheaper on www.amazon.com, but I had a coupon for diapers.com at the time).

So, what are Babycubes?  They are this great little invention that make making your own baby food simpler.  I used to filled ice cube trays with pureed food and then pop them out and put them in freezer bags.  This works great until you want to bring it somewhere.  I love Babycubes because they can be frozen, microwaved and then put in the dishwasher and you never lose the lid!

Anyway, the other day I was being a superb mother and was pureeing green beans from our garden (yes, it is 20 degrees below zero here…they were beans that had been previously frozen and were in our freezer).  There I was, feeling awfully good about my diligence when I hear Ella whisper to Cade, “That looks disgusting!!” Keep in mind that Ella is not yet 4, but she definitely has her own opinions!  Cade instantly replies in a whisper (in a whisper because they know they aren’t allowed to say negative things about food being prepared), “Yeah, it totally does to me too!!” Well, so much for my moment (instant?) of goodness.  I think it was easier to hang onto those moments with only one child:).

Our house was on the market and we haven’t had a showing since August.  Now, we have a showing tomorrow…and yes, technically our house is off the market.

So, needless to say, we have been busy cleaning around here.  Making our house look like no one lives in it with 2 pre-schoolers and an infant is somewhat of a feat in and of itself.  Ella, as usual, has been an eager helper.  We have been cleaning bathtubs, washing mirrors and windows, the fridge, and her favorite, the toilet.

What could be better than such a happy, cute helper!  It makes even cleaning the toilet fun!  The ballerina swimsuit is also a must for a wonderful toilet cleaning experience.