Kirk has been teaching a Sunday School class at church right now with a curriculum from the movie Courageous.  (If you haven’t had a chance to see it yet, go rent or buy it soon.)  This last week in Sunday School the assignment given was to sit down and write down the things that your parents have done that you want to make sure to pass onto your kids.  (See Hun, I’m doing my homework!:))

My parents are still very much alive, and for that I am very thankful.  Their legacy started some time ago though, and it will continue well after they are gone from this earth.  I just wanted to share with you a few of the things that my parents have done really well.  Things I want Cade, Ella, Adalynne and Sawyer to gain from Kirk and me.

My Dad:

- He’s always worked really hard at whatever he is doing.  He is extremely handy and can fix just about anything.  He creates masterpieces in many forms (buildings, cars, in woodworking or sandblasting:)).

- He has taught his children to think things through and discern truth from fiction.

- Although my dad has always worked hard he also took his daughters (I’m the youngest of 4 girls) with him while he worked.  Family is a priority, and though we weren’t always thrilled to be working, we learned a lot from being with dad.  My parents have owned several rental properties through the years, and it has brought a wide range of experiences.  I have chipped cement off of bricks, painted tons, scrubbed nasty refrigerators, shoveled walks and weed-whipped lawns.  It was rare though if Dad wasn’t right there working with us.

- My Dad has never proclaimed perfection, but he has always held up God and The Bible as the standard for all of us.  That was where we were (and are) to go for answers.

My Mom:

- She is a retired Registered Nurse, and I can’t think of a better profession for her.  She is very compassionate, and I have fond memories of her tending to me when I wasn’t feeling well.  She is very giving and kind.

- I consistently remember Mom’s Bible open on the kitchen table, and that was proof that she had been there earlier that morning.

- She is extremely even keel.  We weren’t manipulated to do things based on her emotions.  Even now she is happy to have us for holidays or events, but there isn’t pressure if it doesn’t work out for us.  What a blessing to be welcomed but not connived.

- Mom worked part time, but she made it work so that she was home for us if dad wasn’t.  I remember I looked forward to having our next door neighbor lady watch me because it happened so rarely.

There are certainly many more things about my parents that I love, but here’s a snapshot.  Thanks Dad and Mom for giving of yourselves in a way that is weaving a wonderful legacy!

I love you both!

We had the opportunity to serve at Feed My Starving Children a little while ago.  It is a great organization that uses adult and child volunteers to package nutritious meals for starving children all over the world.  We were fortunate to have the organization come to our area and “set up shop” close to home.  I was able to go with Cade and Ella.  Cade was less than excited when we left, but he was quite touched by the experience when it was done.

Sporting Hair Nets

A FMSC Employee Giving us Instructions

Ella Focusing on Placing the Bag Under the Funnel

Ella Scooping Powdered Chicken

Cade Weighing the Bag

You can go to FMSC.org to find out if you have a location near you to volunteer at Feed My Starving Children.  Cade was most proud of the fact that in our 2 hours of volunteer time the group that we were with packed enough food for 47 children to have 1 meal a day for 1 YEAR.  That’s pretty amazing!!

Blessings to your family,

Why do we feel the need to compare ourselves to others???

Cade is extremely competitive.  He will compete even when it doesn’t make sense to.   Ella is 16 months younger than him and in a different math book altogether, but Cade still needs to know that he is further than her in his math book.  Why is that?  I know one reason is because Cade is a typical first-born.  I also know that God has wired him in a way that he is very concerned about details.  He is my linear/math minded child.

I also know that some of competitiveness really comes down to insecurity.  We try to affirm each child’s importance in our family and appreciate their individuality.  I certainly don’t care where he is in his math compared to Ella.

Really, I’m often no different though.  Why do I feel such a need to compare myself and then be critical towards others?  I guess it comes out of a desire to know that I’m doing a good job at being a wife and mom.  Somehow it seems that if others aren’t doing it “right” than I must be.  Out of the gate with parenting there is heated controversy ~ natural birth/meds, breastfeed/bottle feed, vaccinations or no, demand feed/schedule, homeschool/public or private.  I think there is a place for these conversations, but I’ve often found that instead of us giving grace to one another and helping to educate each other we push our agenda for what we think is “right”.  Is God just as unimpressed when I tout how much better my way is, just as I am when Cade tells Ella, “I’m on lesson 25!”?

I think God is more concerned with our attitudes towards one another than any certain philosophy on parenting.

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”  Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

Matthew 22:36-38

I know that when I work to be accepted by others I am prone to a roller-coaster of emotions.  When I work to please my Lord then I only need to look to Him to empower me, and I can make decisions based on how He is leading me.  It’s a much more restful place:).

Blessings to your family,

As our good friends were preparing to move they had a “painting party” to prepare their house to be put on the market.  We were asked to bring any painting supplies we had.  I was in the basement grabbing brushes and rollers and pans.  It briefly crossed my mind that it was too bad that I have all kinds of paint sitting there, but it wouldn’t do my friends any good.

I got to thinking about that a little more and thought how it would actually be pretty obnoxious for me to bring my own paint and “touch-up” their walls with my paint.  Have you ever touched up your walls with a color that seems to match…only to come back in the sunlight and see that it doesn’t match at all.  It’s much worse than the marks on the wall that you were trying to cover in the first place.

Then I got to thinking of all the times that I’ve brought my own “paint” (advice) into others’ situations and have tried to “touch-up” their “walls” with my color paint.  The paint maybe works in my house, but it doesn’t match their situation.  Obviously, there are Biblical absolutes that remain true in ALL situations because our Creator has put those truths in place, but in gray areas I need to remember to be careful.

Just a thought…

I’m also linking to the “Gentleness Challenge” again over at Women Living Well.  It’s really good this week!!  I find that I can really use these reminders to be gentler with my kids (and husband).  I’m really going to try to work to “praise 10 times more than correct”.  WOW!!  That will definitely be a challenge for me!

Blessings to you,

Things seem to be ever-changing around here.  We find something that works for a time and then shift to something else as the need (or want) arises.

So, here’s what is working for us right now with our chores.  I wrote about how “Day Chores” were working well for us here.  Those have continued to work well for us so I have integrated that into our new chore charts.  I actually downloaded charts from this site so as to not reinvent the wheel.  They are pretty basic charts with the days of the week and then I make a list of their chores for the week that they can check off.  For example, Cade’s chores every morning before breakfast are getting dressed, making his bed, and getting 5 pieces of firewood brought into the house.  Every other day in the evenings  he has vacuuming the kitchen or helping with dishes.  Then his “Day Chores” which are once a week are vacuuming his room (I really like our stick vacuum for the kids:)), shaking rugs, taking out the garbage and dusting.

I know that there is some debate about whether to tie an allowance to chores or not.  For us this has seemed to work well.  The kids get 25 cents for every year old they are at the end of the week if they have completed all of there chores with a happy heart and have done it well.  This has also given us the ability to have the kids take responsibility for their own money.  It cuts down on begging for things in the store because they can spend their money but once it’s gone, it’s gone.  This has also made giving more meaningful to them as it is truly their money.

We also give the option of “bonus” chores from time to time.  The kids can choose to do the chore or not.  They get extra compensation if they choose to do it, but they don’t have to.  I haven’t had them turn me down yet:).  They do have to decide whether they are going to do the chore BEFORE they know what it is though .

So, that is what is working for us right now.

I have consistently struggled to remain consistent in blogging ~ at least I’m consistent at something:).

I have a hard time justifying my time blogging unless most everything else is already done.  Kirk and I joke about the mom who sits blogging while her kids are running around her screaming, the dishes are stacked in the sink and the bills sit unpaid.  Or the mom who creates scenarios to have great pictures and stories for her blog but not for the family experience itself.  It is a balance that I struggle with.  I think there may be a phenomena of really nice looking blogs out there with homes that suffer because of it.

I understand the draw of blogs, pinterest, and skype while being home day in and day out with little ones (and homeschooling).  I think it is important to connect with others.  It can be incredibly encouraging to be in touch with those in your same life stage.  I have one “Skyping friend” in particular.  We bounce ideas off each other and share our joys and struggles through out the day.  We share resources which is really helpful with homeschooling.  I also know that what can be a great thing and helpful to my family can also be a time waster and negatively impact our days.  It’s so easy to sit down to ”research” for curriculum ideas and not realize how much time has gone by.

We don’t have great TV reception and we opt not to pay for any services so internet is our means of getting news.   A while back my speakers went out on my computer and it has honestly been a time saver for me.  News videos just aren’t the same with no sound:).

I’m just hoping that my home looks better than my blog…not from a decorative standpoint but from an investment standpoint.  I hope that our family blog captures a glimpse of our family life instead of me creating a blog to make us look like a great family.  I hope that one day my kids can look at the blog and remember memories we’ve had togther instead of looking and wondering, “who is that family??”

Just a thought.

Many times when the kids are arguing about a toy or not being nice because of something, I will remind them, “Ella is more important than a car” or “Cade is more important than a quarter”.  I just try to emphasize that things will come and go, but that people are eternal.

So, Ella was helping me shred some cheese the other day.  (She is the one who loves to help in the kitchen).  Addie was having some trouble in the other room, and Ella left the kitchen to go help her.  When she came back she said, “Well, Addie is more important than cheese!”

Yes, Addie is more important than cheese ~ thanks for the reminder Ella:).

Sometimes I forget that the kids are more important than whatever I am currently engaged in.  Once again, I’m linking up to the “Gentleness Challenge” over at “Women Living Well”.  This week’s focus is on anger…it’s really good!  I hope that this is as encouraging and challenging for you as it has been for me.

Enjoy!

This morning I told the kids that cereal was the option because we didn’t want to be running late for church.  Addie chose Honey Nut Cheerios, and I poured them into her “Thomas the Train” cereal bowl (this is what a girl gets when she has lots of boy cousins…train bowls).  Addie got milk and was quickly making her way through her cereal.  I was helping Cade and Ella get their cereal when Kirk rounded the corner.

“Um, did you happen to wash that bowl.”

“No…it was on the counter.”

“Hmm…well that’s what I fed the kitty out of last night.”

WHOOPS!  Sorry Addie!  She didn’t seem to mind.

This Friday we will be saying good-bye to some very dear friends.  They are moving across the country.

We’ve lived life together.

When we met they had 1 child, and we had none.  Now we have 9 children between our two families (that’s a little lot crazy!!).

These are the friends that you can literally drop in on anytime!

We’ve prayed together for children, the healing of cancer, wisdom, direction, and all kinds of life change.

We’ve watched God answer those prayers…repeatedly.

We’ve done Bible studies and watched “Amazing Race” together.

For me, this has been the friendship that has helped me grow because Kristen was so grace-filled that I could be real about who I was…and find healing.

We’ve eaten hundreds of meals together.

We’ve roasted quite a few marshmallows over our campsite bonfires.

We are already planning our 18 hour trek across the country.

You will be so missed!

God bless your family as God brings you to the next chapter in your life!!  We love you!

You know when you hear someone speak and you decide you’re going to implement every last thing that they suggested…and then you get home and you really can’t remember much of anything that was said, and you seem to have gone back to just the way things were before?

There was a speaker that I listened to from a conference we went to a couple of years ago.  There was something that I took away from her talk that we still utilize today.  Her name is Melodie Sterrett, and she spoke on “The Balance of Loving Discipline“.  I remember liking most of what she said, but I really couldn’t tell you any specifics anymore except for what she called “Whisper Prayers”.

It’s such a simple concept and yet it is something that really has been such a connection point with our children.  Basically, whisper prayers are prayers that you whisper in your child’s ear while you are in their bed tucking them in at night.  It doesn’t seem all that monumental, but it gives you a chance to be one on one with your child.  It’s the time that I take to think through the day and thank God out-loud for the things I see taking root in my child; to really speak a blessing over them.  It can also be a time that we pray for what can be worked on as well.  Sometimes apologies are made or we laugh about our day.  Many times, after the prayer, the child will ask some deep question that otherwise wouldn’t have been addressed.  Each of our kids love when we whisper pray.

I thought this coincided so well with the “Gentleness Challenge” that I’ve been following on “Women Living Well“.  Whisper prayers can be a great place to start.  A place to maybe confess some of your faults to your child and pray together.  It may be a place to have some healing begin in a strained parent/child relationship.  Or it may just be a place to strengthen an already strong connection.